Yoga for the unyoga

If I’m going to make a fool of myself, I might as well do it right. I’ve tried yoga before, going to a semester of perpetually dull classes in first year university where I would frequently break into dance-like spasms simply to keep myself amused in the giant wall of mirrors.

Before I go on, you should know I don’t consider myself either an athletic chump or expert. I have never run at the front of the pack, or specialized in any sport enough to be considered good. But, I am a 21 year old male with a variety of races under my belt ranging from small triathlons to the aforementioned epic hike, in combination with a summer of tree planting I like to think I know hard work when I see it. So when my mom told me that she was becoming a regular at the local hot yoga studio, something that has always interested me I decided to sign up for a trial membership.

Before I went in the studio, the instructor looked me in the eye and said ‘at some point your going to realize this is damn hot’, of course I gave the appropriate smile and nod and acknowledged that it was after all aptly referred to as hot yoga. Turns out it really wasn’t that hot. When you’re just lying down it’s barely hot enough to make one lightly sweat, but hardly near unbearable. It takes about 60-90 minutes of moving in directions I never thought possible while doing my utter best not to revert back the awkwardness that characterized the first 18 years of my life to reveal its true suffocating heat. In true fashion of one young man in a room of 20 beautiful women, I failed miserably and instead replaced wishes of confidence and charisma with dizzying blood rushes and a dire need to vomit.

After eventually regaining control of my gag reflex I was able to continue and once again contort myself into positions that sounded more like exotic dishes than spine stretching exercises. When it was all over I picked up my 10 pound lighter frame and mopped up my 10 pound heavier clothes and staggered my way to a shower. In the end, I absolutely love it. I have a totally new respect for people who do this on a regular basis. Undoubtedly, due to the extra heat of my first class and my lack of fitness it was the most difficult activity I have ever done. It took me a second time to realize how good it makes me feel, despite having minimal balance and barely fulfilling the requirements of each pose it’s definitely something I can see pursuing.